Love in Surrender Read online

  I shake my head, determined to enjoy this evening and Deacon’s company.

  I’m dressed in jeans, boots, and a pale pink evening blouse while I wait for Deacon to knock on the door. I should be happy and excited about tonight, but so far I only feel anxious.

  Inhaling deeply, I tell myself to forget about Blake for the next few hours and just let lose, and who knows, perhaps I’ll enjoy the date.

  Hearing the bell, I sigh, and turning, I stumble slightly when I see Blake watching me from the doorway. “I didn’t know you were home.”

  “Where else would I be?” he counters, his hand running over his weary face.

  I narrow my gaze and look more closely. “Considering you are hardly ever home these days, I don’t really know what to expect when it comes to your presence.”

  He looks haggard with his shoulders hunched over. “I was…”

  The bell buzzes.

  “I better go.” I grab my purse from the table and hesitate. “Are you okay?”

  He glances up, clearing his throat. “You look really nice, Violet,” he says softly. “Really nice.”

  I hold his gaze and the buzzing bell snaps my attention away. “I’ll see you later.”

  Trying to avoid his gaze, I quickly dash to the front door, and while I’m opening it, I hear, “Home by ten,” shouted from behind me.

  Deacon clears his throat and frowns.

  Embarrassed, I say, “Sorry about that, Blake’s just trying to be funny,” while I quickly step outside and shut the door. “Should we go?”

  “Umm,” Deacon tilts his head and observes me. “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

  Startled by his candor, I squeak, “I’m sure. Why?”

  “Everyone at the sheriff’s office was surprised you said yes.” He shrugged. “I thought it was just me imagining things at first, until I overheard a conversation about you and Blake.”

  Feeling bad, I reach out and touch Deacon’s arm softly. “I’m sorry. I guess we do share a house.” I smile and force it to reach my eyes. “If there was something between Blake and I, then I wouldn’t be here with you.”

  He watches me closely and then suddenly smiles. “Glad to hear it. I don’t like to share” He offers his arm. “Shall we head out?”

  My heart feels lighter as I take his arm. Tonight is for me, and I’m going to have fun.

  Blake is being stubborn and doesn’t want to acknowledge what an amazing person I am, but Deacon does. It will be hard acting indifferent toward him, but it’s what I’m going to have to do from now on. It’s the only way I know how to move forward.

  Deacon ushers me into his truck, and once he pulls out onto the road, I really look at him. There’s strength in his thighs, and as my gaze moves higher, his hands clench around the steering wheel, which has my gaze moving up to his face. He quickly glances at me before turning his attention back to the road. “Tell me something about you, Violet. Something that no one else knows.”

  I sit back and smile out of the passenger window. “I’m an open book so I’m not sure there’s anything…”

  “Everyone has secrets,” he interrupts with a sharp laugh.

  “I don’t like milk in coffee.” I shake my head and wince. “I’m really boring.”

  “I don’t believe that,” Deacon scoffs. “I think you just need the right guy to show you how to have fun.” He grins, but it doesn’t reach his gaze.

  I frown and before I can question it, he turns back to the road. His strong jaw clenches, a slight twitch becoming prominent.

  My gaze follows the terrain as we leave town and Deacon quietly adds, “We’re eating in the next town. We won’t be as known.”

  I hear his words and try to ignore the pang of regret and worry that twinges in my heart. Deacon seems annoyed at me, or maybe at the situation as a whole because of the rumors about Blake and I. I don’t blame him really, but why would he keep asking me out if he believes the rumors? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m beginning to regret ever agreeing to this date.

  “We’re here,” he says and jumps out of the truck, strutting around to my side. “Let me help you out.” He sneers.

  I’m starting to think there’s something not quite right about Deacon, my heart beats irregularly with anxiety.

  He lifts me from the truck before I can so much as turn to climb out myself. His hands linger on my hips and when I meet his gaze I get the overwhelming sense that he’s about to kiss me. So, I quickly duck out of his hold and move toward the restaurant. “I haven’t eaten here before,” I comment, turning to Deacon with a fake smile plastered on my face.

  Deacon takes a minute to watch my movements and tilts his head. He reminds me of a big bad wolf which I try to shake free of.

  “Have you eaten here?” I ask hoping to get him moving, snapping him out of whatever he’s thinking. I’m not sure I like it.

  Something tells me that I should just get a cab home and forget about the whole evening. It doesn’t bother me that Blake will know the date was a bust, I just need to feel safe again, and I don’t with Deacon.

  “I’ve been here once before. The food is pretty good.” As he catches up to me, he slips his arm around my waist and keeps me anchored tightly to his side, his fingers digging deep into my hip. He’ll leave a bruise.

  Once inside, we separate when shown to our table and the predatory glare that he has in his eyes becomes prominent now that I’m sat across from him. The moment I have an excuse to go to the bathroom, I message Kasey and ask him to come and get me. He lives the closest to this town and I know he’ll be here within minutes to help me.

  I feel stupid considering I’m an independent, grown woman.

  But tonight, Deacon has been giving off bad signals and my sense of flight is high.

  Procrastinating my exit for as long as I can, I step out of the restroom and find Deacon waiting for me.

  He grabs ahold of my forearm in a vice like grip. “I thought you’d ran out on me.” He sneers.

  A few other diners glance in our direction as he drags and shoves me back into my seat, my other hand automatically reaches up to rub my sore arm.

  “What is going on? What’s wrong with you? You’ve hurt me Deacon.”

  His eyes narrow and then he carries on eating as though I hadn’t just accused him of something.

  “You need some manners.” He grins slowly. “Stick with me, and I’ll soon have you behaving.”

  My mouth drops open in shock. “I’m not going to be anywhere near you again,” I sharply whisper. “So consider this date, and our whole interaction over.” I stand and Deacon mimics me, leaning threateningly over the table.

  “You will sit down, and finish your meal,” he snarls.

  “I think she’s finished,” Kasey’s welcome drawl pipes in, his words underlined with anger. “Let’s go Violet.” He motions me towards the exit.

  Kasey gets between Deacon and me, and I sigh in relief when I see Diego here as well.

  “My brother and I are going to escort Violet home. I suggest you let us leave without any arguments, and I would also insist that you stay away from her in future.”

  With a gentle shove from Kasey I get moving toward Diego and only take a deep, shaky breath once I’m in the truck with them both and we’re driving away.

  “He scared me. Thank you for coming out to get me, it means the world.”

  “Don’t mention it. My wife and her brother consider you family, which makes you one of us. Of course, we’d come and get you if you need us,” Kasey says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

  “Blake’s going to go nuts when he finds out about tonight,” Diego observes.

  “I’ll talk to him before he hears it through the grape vine.” I shrug. “He’ll probably see you guys pull up outside, so it’s not like I’m going to escape his notice.”

  “I’m going to give you some free advice about my cranky brother-in-law.” Kasey grins. “He’s stubborn. He wants you, but for
whatever reason he has, he won’t let you close. So, make up an excuse as to why you have to share his room, and ignore anything he says. Slip into his bed and refuse to budge. No hot-blooded guy will be able to resist the woman he’s crazy about when she’s in his bed. Trust me on this.” He winks. “Besides, he can’t exactly carry you out of it and dump you back in your own.”

  Both Diego and I stare at Kasey who just laughs. “I’m telling you like it is. He relies on his wheelchair to get about, so once he’s in bed, move the chair out of his reach and join him. Pretend to sleep and see what he does.” He shrugs. “I bet he eventually gives in to you.”

  “I can’t believe I’m actually contemplating this advice from you two.”

  “Hey, not me. I want you to remember that this is all Kasey when it backfires.” Grumbles Diego.

  “Chickenshit,” Kasey mumbles at his brother.

  Diego grins. “I don’t give a shit what you think, I have a woman waiting for me in my bed. I don’t want her getting pissed when she gets wind of this idea.”

  Kasey rolls his eyes. “Well, Felicity has said more than once that her brother needs a swift kick up the ass, so having Violet in his bed will be one.” Kasey holds my gaze. “Just don’t give in to his cranky ass okay?”

  I nod.

  “That ‘a girl.” Kasey shoves me softly out of the truck and they both watch me enter the quiet, dark house.

  What the hell have I gotten myself into?

  Nothing if you do just that…nothing.

  5

  Blake

  Hearing the door shut behind Violet, I pretend to be asleep on the sofa, so that she doesn’t think I’ve waited up for her, which of course, I have. I’m an idiot for letting her go out with someone else when all I really want is for her to stay here with me. That isn’t going to happen though. I have nothing to offer her, where Deacon has everything.

  Rubbing the pain where my heart is, I snap my eyes open and find Violet leaning over the back of the sofa. “Why are you sleeping on the sofa?” she asks the question, but her eyes caress over the length of me as I stay sprawled out.

  I clear my throat and notice the pink brightening her cheeks, so I grin. She may have been out with another man, but it’s me who makes her blush. I frown because that isn’t what I want. I don’t want her to keep looking at me in that way, when I can’t have her.

  Instead of answering her question, I narrow my gaze and ask, “Why did I hear Kasey’s truck outside?”

  She averts her gaze and on a heavy sigh drops onto the coffee table directly in front of me. “I called Kasey to come get me.” She shrugs. “The date didn’t go as planned and I wanted to leave.” She won’t meet my gaze, so I struggle into a sitting position and gently take her jaw into my hand, turning her face so that she has to look at me.

  “What did that bastard do?” I growl.

  Her eyes fill with tears. “He scared me,” she admits. “He suddenly, out of nowhere, became possessive, and he wouldn’t let me leave.” Her hand rubs absentmindedly at her arm, which is when I notice the bruising.

  “He touched you?” My blood boils at the thought that I’d sent her out with that asshole because of my own stubbornness. “This is my fault.”

  “No,” she breathes the word, moving closer. So close. Her small hands grab my face as she forces me to look at her. “You did not have anything to do with what happened. I wanted to leave, and he wouldn’t let me, so he grabbed my arm and shoved me back into the seat. That’s when Kasey and Diego arrived. I called them when I went to the restroom.”

  I pull her closer and rest my forehead against hers. “Why didn’t you call me?”

  She stays silent and then it hits me. “You didn’t call me because I’m a cripple and not much good to you.” I give a bitter laugh as her eyes fill with tears.

  “That’s unfair,” she whispers. “All I could think about was getting home to you.”

  “But you didn’t call me,” I whisper.

  She stands and moves away from my touch. “I didn’t call you because…” Her voice catches on a sob. “Because you’re the one I wanted to see coming through those doors to take me away from there,” she cries, “but you’ve made it clear that you don’t want me.”

  “Look at me,” I shout. “I’m useless to anyone in this chair. I can’t give you a life like you deserve Violet.” I turn my head away, hoping she doesn’t see the tears hovering in my eyes. “You need a man who you can call when you need saving, not a man stuck in a chair.”

  Sadly, she says, “You don’t know what I want out of life because you’ve never asked. You’ve only ever assumed.”

  I watch as she slowly retreats into herself and disappears along the hallway to her room. Blinking back my own anguish, I slowly inhale and close my eyes. My fingers squeeze the bridge of my nose, determined to not let my tears of frustration and pain fall. They won’t do me any good. Nor Violet.

  She’s more of a fighter than I am. She doesn’t wallow in self-pity like I’ve been doing. On the outside I try and only show the old me, before the accident. But on the inside, I’m falling apart. Useless to anyone.

  Seeing Violet so upset because of me makes me pause, I need to pull myself together and grab on to the life that I have left. There’s no reason why I can’t find something I can do, that will allow me to support a family.

  Family.

  That’s what I want.

  The whole De La Fuente family have the right idea and it’s about time I did too.

  6

  Violet

  It’s been a few months since my disaster of a date with Deacon, and to my relief, he’s kept his distance. I’ve felt his glare every now and then when I’ve been passing by—I ignore him—he has made no move to approach me. I’m not even sure what I’d say to him if he did approach. He’d really scared me that night in the restaurant.

  Since then, Blake has been different. It’s as though he suddenly has a goal in mind and he’s worked harder with me and at the gym than he ever has before. Sometimes I think he’s getting movement back in his legs, but when I mention it he clams up and tells me I’m ridiculous. I’m not too sure though.

  While I’m pottering around the kitchen, I keep stopping and trying to overhear what he’s discussing with his sister, Felicity. I smile at the thought of her waddling, because if her stomach gets any bigger she really will resemble a penguin. I feel sorry for Kasey though because he’s worried sick that their baby is going to be too big for his wife to birth. He treats her like a queen, which is why she has strict instructions not to move from the sofa until he returns to pick her up.

  Shaking my head, I grin as I carry a tray of refreshments into the living room and my grin widens when I see the amusement on Blake’s face while he watches his sister. Felicity is currently lying on the sofa with her feet raised on a cushion with the huge baby bump protruding upwards.

  “I think I’m going to need help—maybe a crane—to sit up,” she mumbles.

  “Let me put this down and I’ll help.” I chuckle.

  Felicity watches me, but not as closely as Blake does. His eyes burn into my soul and it’s only when Felicity clears her throat that he blinks and offers his sister a wry grin. “I think you should stay where you are until Kasey gets back,” Blake offers.

  “No way. I need refreshments and then I need to pee.”

  “TMI, sis.” Blake shudders.

  “Just be glad that I’m not asking you to help me in the bathroom,” she grumbles.

  Blake’s eyes widen and the laugh I’ve been trying to hold in, bursts forth.

  “I can imagine the exact look on his face, in fact its pretty close to that one now.” I chuckle and with Felicity’s help, get her sitting up.

  She grins and rests the small plate with a slice of lemon drizzle cake on her belly. Taking a bite, she sighs. “This is really good. Melts in your mouth.”

  I grin. “Lynne and her daughter, Cara, from next door made it. Lynne knows I’m partial to it, an
d it was a thank you for taking Cara to the library one afternoon.”

  “That’s really sweet. You’re such a good person, Violet.” I notice Felicity briefly glances pointedly at her brother before continuing to eat. “So, Violet, have you heard anything about those jobs you applied for?”

  My heart sinks as I catch Blake turn quickly to stare at me from the corner of my eye. I hadn’t told him I was looking for something else—away from him.

  “Umm, I have an interview next week.”

  Blake curses under his breath and wheels himself out of the room and down the hall, seconds later we hear his bedroom door slam shut.

  Felicity sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think he’d act like a child. I wanted him to get bent out of shape and question you.” She shoves more cake into her mouth. “I still think he needs a kick in the ass.”

  “What a nice ass it is too,” I mumble, trying to lighten the current mood, but failing. “He’s made his mind up Felicity. Leave him. I’m going to go for the interview next week in Boston, and I’ll see how it goes.”

  “It’s a long way from Montana,” she comments. “A long way from my brother.”

  “If I dwell on it, then I won’t go. I need to go and move on with my life because I feel stuck. When I’m here with Blake, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him and I can’t carry on like that. I need to be comfortable in my own home. The move would be good for me.”

  Felicity doesn’t say anything, lost in her own thoughts while stroking her belly.

  It makes me sad because I want everything that she has. I want a husband who adores me, and to start a family with him. I’m beginning to realize that my dream of Blake being that person isn’t going to come true. Ever.

  He’s decided and that’s it.

  7

  Blake

  “Does anyone else know that you’re getting sensation back in your legs?” Kasey asks, a deep frown creasing his forehead. He knows the answer before finishing his question.

  “I think Violet might suspect, but I haven’t told anyone…and you can’t either.” I hold his gaze. “I don’t want Violet getting her hopes up, not if this is all I’ll ever have, it could really go both ways.”